BFS Assignment #101 - Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! Oh What a Relief It Is!

I have to admit that I think the title of this post is both fun and a bit creepy to me. Fun in that it is a creative way to introduce the topic, but creepy in that it reminds me of the commercials for Alka Seltzer when I was a kid. I was never quite sure what it was for, but it was obviously because you were in great discomfort and the Alka Seltzer itself wasn't going to be a pleasant drink.

Moving past my weird associations, this week I'm supposed to write about my worst struggles with a life style of homeschooling, and how God has given me the strength to get past it.

Have you ever walked through the woods and not known where you were? If you could see from above, you'd know exactly which way to go, but from inside the trees it's too hard to tell. I got lost in the woods once with some friends. We thought we heard voices, and decided to go toward the voices, though we had no idea whether or not those people knew where they were going either. We joked that we would someday, after weeks lost in the woods, nearly succumbing to starvation and wild animals, we would write a survival book called, "We Thought We Heard Voices."

Homeschooling has felt a bit like that for me. It's a journey of unknowns, far out of my comfort zone. Sometimes I feel very alone (especially when few of my friends homeschool). I get tired, weak, and wonder how I got where I am. I think my greatest struggles have been two-fold: First, realizing that I can't MAKE things happen for my kids. They may not want to learn. I may not know the right way to teach them. I can't force things in this journey. Secondly, I have struggled with staying in this place where most of my time is spent with my kids and it takes so much energy, patience, wisdom, and other things I do not always have in abundance. Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier just to send them to school and let someone else do the work.

But even though I feel a bit lost in the woods at times, I know that God can see the big picture, and He knows the path I should take. He can give me all the supplies I need for the journey. Since I started teaching my kids, a phrase that keeps coming to mind is from a Rich Mullins song, "I can't see how You're leading me, unless You've led me here to where I'm lost enough to let myself be led." I think the greatest blessing of homeschooling for me personally is being forced into this position of humility. Some of can't be led until we get so lost we know we can't depend on ourselves anymore.

I mentioned in my last post that after a few months of homeschool, I wilted in front of God and conceded defeat. That was my first step toward victory. From that point I began to ask God for wisdom and discernment in knowing what to do when my son refused to read, or my daughter wouldn't cooperate. I know that He knows my children far better than I do - what motivates them, how they learn best, what will develop that love for learning in them. I know that I may never see much further than a few steps on this path, but I can trust Him with what's around the bend.

Recently, I had a day when I was already feeling under the weather, and it seemed that the children were particularly wired for irritating each other. The thought that kept coming to my mind was, "Even this, Gina. Even in this I am sufficient. I have more than enough of what you need to get through this day." I kept wanting to argue with God that no, it was just too hard. But arguing with God is never an argument you'll win. I'm thankful for His gentle reminder that no matter how lost I feel, He's going to be with me. He won't let me succumb to the elements.

Just reflecting on this has been a good reminder to me that no matter what the struggles are - be it with my children's attitudes, or my own, God is sufficient. This is an invitation to more of Him, and for that I'm grateful.

Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.