How much is enough?

So, what curriculum would you recommend for a 23 month old?

That's the question someone just posed on the homeschool website here. I have to shake my head at this, but from a cultural standpoint I can understand the pressure this mom feels. Kids start school full time here at age 2, going through four years of preschool before primary 1.

When Ethan was young (starting around age 3) I did start actively focusing on teaching him things. Each week I chose a theme like "Space" and searched the internet for activities and books we could use covering that topic. But the focus here is much more academic. If kids aren't reading fluently by age 4, parents feel they've failed.

My homeschool friends and I have been talking about concept lately - where should our standard be? It seems the international schools here (the ones that are "IB" accredited) have standards that are off the charts. Kids are pushed to the limit. Then I hear that schools in the US are sub-standard, not challenging kids enough. I have spent a lot of time in prayer lately, asking God to show me just where our schooling should fall. I want our kids to be challenged, and to reach their full potential. I need God's wisdom in seeing what that is, and I know that He will show me.

The Importance of Play

I read this interesting article this morning about the negative effects of school age kids not having enough time to play anymore. If your kids are in school, I highly recommend you read it! One thing it mentions is that the experts feel a lack of play contributes to diminished innovation and creative skills. Let me say that Singapore is evidence of the truth of this article! The kids in school here are pushed SO hard. All free time is wrapped up in "tuitions" (extra classes) with no time to be kids. The result is a society that is intellectually solid, but lacking in creative and initiative taking skills.

I am more and more convinced these days that homeschooling is a great thing. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't do more work, since homeschool usually only takes up half the day. Reading this article reminded me that all that play time is a necessary part of their development.

Life is learning

My first exposure to homeschool came before I was even married. One summer day, feeling lonely, I walked across the street to introduce myself to the family I knew worked in another ministry on campus. The door was answered by a wonderful woman, Dee, who became mentor and friend to me in the next year.

She had three sweet little girls and one on the way, and she homeschooled them. I watched Dee parent them and talk about homeschooling - she mentioned how the smallest thing like seeing a firetruck drive by, or them watching her bake, was an opportunity for learning.

That lesson came back to me today when my son, who had been occupied measuring the living room furniture said, "Mom, do we have to go back to homeschool now?" We had read a book called Measuring Penny about a girl who measures her dog in every possible way, so the kids had grabbed tape measures and were hard at work measuring different things.
I said, "Ethan, you've been doing homeschool!" After all, he was learning, just at home.

One of the things I often hear is, "homeschooling is not school at home." In other words, you aren't trying to recreate what they'd have at school. But my personality demands structure, as does my time conscious son's, so while I want us to have an atmosphere of learning, I do find that I have a starting and stopping point each day. Part of my reasoning in that is that I want my kids to learn structure and how to be engaged in an activity for a prescribed time.

But as I reflect on our detour this morning, or the fact that right now Ethan is learning what happens when you burn rubberbands (yes, with permission - it's science!), or that earlier he observed the water tension on top of a cup of water and spend time reading about surface tension on the internet (more science!) I'm reminded that their learning isn't restricted to "school time."

What Price Will We Pay?

There are many reasons people use not to homeschool. Maybe one of them is the time commitment. It's true, I'm with my kids most of the day. We have a lot of time with other families, and I try to take time out when I need it, but for the most part my life is them. It's definitely a sacrifice, and I'll admit there have been many times when I wished I had my time back.

But lately several things have made me realize that there is no schooling option without cost. A new acquaintance of mine told me her son is enrolled in the local school system, where, "He hates it. The other kids pick on him for being foreign. He has no friends. He's an outsider." But her reaction is, "That's just how kids are."

Another friend has a daughter enrolled in an international school. She's thinking of pulling her out to homeschool her, because she's not enjoying it. She can't find anyone who shares her faith, so she's very lonely.

Other friends are disappointed that though their kids are in an international school, they aren't being challenged academically at all. They aren't able to work up to their ability.

Singaporean schools end early in the afternoon so that students can participate in "tuitions" which are extra classes, either to help students catch up or to get them ahead. My maid heard yelling a few days ago, and we realized that when we look out and down one floor, we can see a Singaporean woman doing math tuition for 4-5 students. She screams at them when they do wrong, and slaps the table with a stick. Sometimes she slaps them on the arm with the stick (yes, this is acceptable here).

When I look at these situations I think, "Is it worth it to me to put my kids in any of these situations so I can have my time back?" Of course not. Every schooling option costs something. I'm seeing more and more the benefit of teaching my kids at home, and what it "costs" me is completely worth it.

Blogger Friend School Assignment #100

While perusing other homeschool blogs, I stumbled on this website with this purpose: "BFS is a full school year of fun-filled assignments to Build Friendships, Strengthen Faith, and Journal your Memories! Our goal is to encourage a community of homeschool moms to learn together while writing out special memories."

Well, it all sounds good to me, so here's my first crack at an assignment:

I may be the most reluctant homeschooler ever. Don't get me wrong - I love my kids more than life, and I'm all about investing in them. But I have other interests as well, and I always thought that when they got into school, I would be free again to pursue those interests. I knew though, that raising my children overseas with questionable schooling options meant I might someday, for some period of time, need to homeschool them.

The first time I gave it any serious thought was at a conference for our ministry where I found the book Things We Wished We'd Known. If you're not familiar, it's a book in which 50 veteran homeschoolers share their wisdom. At first glance, I thought, "I'm not one of these people. They have lots of kids, and they live on farms with goats and they seem ridiculously creative and committed to this." I was beginning to wonder what I was going to do with my then 3 year old son. Feelings of fear that I could quite possibly screw up his education by making the wrong choice were beginning to creep into my mind. Living in a country where children are sent to school at age 2 didn't help me feel like I was doing the right thing by keeping him at home and just spending time with him. But that book gave me assurance that at that age, the best thing was to spend quality time with him, and above all READ like mad to him. It also gave me hope that if God called me to it, homeschool might be a possibility.

When we moved to Singapore in 2004, our son was 4 1/2 and it was time, I thought to do something. Since several of the families around us were homeschooling, I thought, "It's kindergarten. How hard can it be?" Famous last words, those. So when he hit 5 1/2 I cracked open our new big box of homeschool supplies and began our journey.

At first I wondered whose children those were in the catalog pictures, with captions about how they love homeschool so much they want to do it all the time. That wasn't us. In fact, after about 3 months, I remember distinctly sitting in a chair in the corner of my room, saying to God, "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing." And He said quite clearly to me, "It's about time you admitted it. Now let Me help you."

So what began with reluctance has become a journey of dependence. We have good days when I can see that my kids are learning. We have bad days when we cry and get frustrated with each other, and I wonder how much that international school really does cost. We even have great days when my kids DO look like the kids in the catalogs (imagine that!).

We're in our fourth year now, and I have to say that for the first time, as I sat down to plan out our semester, I was excited! And not just about this year, but next year too. Four weeks in, and I am feeling like the steep learning curve of homeschool is starting to level out and I can relax and enjoy the process a little more.

Many times homeschool moms talk about their own poor schooling process as a motivator for teaching their own children. I can't say I had a bad experience, maybe because I was blessed enough to be in a school where children had more freedom to work at their own pace. I do remember being able to work ahead in math in 2nd grade. My teacher did this by letting me take the post test at the end of a chapter. If I scored 100%, I could skip the chapter. Guess what - it was multiple choice, and I guessed correctly. To this day, I am a little shaky on mean, median and mode.

Other than that unfortunate event, I have to admit that my education was good. But when I look at my kids now and think about my own education, the part of homeschooling I enjoy the most is the fact that my kids don't have to deal with all the negative social aspects of school. I wasn't scarred for life by that socialization, but it did little to build my self esteem. When I look at my little girl who is so easily swayed by her peers, I am thankful that I have this time to direct her heart and her friendships in a way that gives her a good foundation.

Fear and trembling, over-confidence, despair, joy, discouragement, excitement, peace, gratitude - I've felt the gamut of emotions through this process. I'm sure there's still more to come. What I know for sure is that right now in my life, this is God's assignment for me. I constantly go back to Psalm 16:5-6 which says, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Surely I have a delightful inheritance." God's assignments are always for our good, leading us into more life. And that alone is enough to make me perseverance.