BFS #112 - America’s Favorite Dessert - J-E-L-L-O

Intro: America’s Favorite Dessert J-E-L-L-O - What we read affects what we believe. When we feed the Scriptures in our spirit, faith comes alive and becomes a living force within you.

Assignment: Write about your favorite ‘faith food’. Tell about the books of the Bible that you read that help to build your faith. Nurture the seeds of faith inside you. ex: Acorns become Oak trees.

Funny that you ask that this week, because I just made the decision to lead a study on Ephesians next semester at our church. Why Ephesians? Because one of the most significant and life changing aspects of my relationship with God is understanding my identity in Christ - who I am as His child, my authority as a believer, my value and uniqueness in Him. And all of that is wrapped up in Ephesians. Chapter 1 is alone says we've been "chosen, blessed, predestined, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, sealed." I also go to Ephesians when I'm feeling spiritual battle, to remind myself that because of what God has done for me, I can stand firm.

Another favorite book of mine is 2 Corinthians. I know, it seems a little random, but it tells us about how God has made us competent in Christ, how He uses our trials to strengthen us and show His glory through us, how God multiplies our giving. Probably my favorite verse is 1:20, "For all the promises of God find their Yes in him (Jesus). That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory." Whatever God promises us, He will fulfill.

I also really enjoy Deuteronomy. I suppose it isn't usually on peoples' favorites list, but a few years ago I spent a semester studying it, and the theme that I walked away from it with was, "Do not forget the Lord." For someone like me, who tends toward self-sufficiency, it's always a good reminder that I desperately need God, and if I feel like I don't, either I'm not stepping out in faith, or I have just lost my focus.

But when I'm discouraged and need some instant juice, I'm most likely to go to the Psalms of David. I love his honesty. His psalms often begin with a lament of, "God where are you? What are you doing?" but they end with, "You're God, and you're good." I want to model the same transparency with Him - not hiding my emotions, not pretending everything is fine, not trying to wriggle out of my difficulties until I'm honest with God in how I feel. I know he can take it. But once I've poured out my heart, I want to honor Him by bringing myself back to the truth of who He is in my life.

Thanks for the reminder of the power of scripture!

Assignment #110 - Computers Help People Help People (IBM)

Assignment:

Share some of your favorite homeschooling sites. The only “rule” for this assignment is that you have to list at least one “free” site. Many homeschooling families have made the choice to live on very little income to do what they believe is best for their children and I want everyone to be able to benefit from this assignment. If you have other sites that are “paid” sites, feel free to include these also as it might be something someone would really appreciate. If you feel led, share your curriculum choices with us. I always love to learn what is out there that I don’t already know about. Please make sure to include links to the sites you share.

Although we live on a limited income, I don't stress much about finding free stuff on the internet. I think that any money we invest in curriculum is well worth it, especially great living books we'll read again and again. But I do love finding helpful resources on the internet for things like art, music, books, etc.

I have spent way too much time finding great sites on the internet - it always seems like one site leads to five more! Sometimes I've felt almost manic as my excitement over finding new resources builds to a boiling point - look at all these possibilities!!! And knowing that other people are posting about sites I might not know yet makes me giddy (but not in the Singaporean way, which means "dizzy").

So here are some of the sites I love:
Vegsource This is actually a vegan website. I am not vegan, but it has a great used curriculum page where I have found many things I need.

The Homeschool Mom This website has lots of fun free things, including a newsletter.

Art Projects for Kids I have had so much fun using this website - she regularly posts art activities for kids that are easy and creative.

Children's Books: What, When and How to Read Them This woman does not appear to be a believer, but I LOVE books, and she has given me a lot of leads on good books for our kids.

Squidoo This is a place where people can upload information about anything, so if you go to the main site and search on homeschool, you'll find over 750 pages! I found it while looking for information on how to lapbook.

Homeschool Share If you're into lapbooks and unit studies, this has a ton of free resources! I am just getting into them, so it's been a good introduction for me.

And one more thing - if you aren't familiar with the Usborne Internet Linked series, you should check it out! We have the history and science books (We use Story of the World for history, which references pages from Usborne History in each chapter). Granted Usborne is NOT written from a Christian perspective, but the kids have loved looking up the links to pages they've learned about. Recently we found several sites from it about the human body that had fun games and interesting videos. Plus, for my very visual learner, it gives great pictures to put with our stories.

BFS Assignment #109 We Bring Good Things To Life (GE)

Assignment: Share a field trip/lifestyle learning experience where you really felt you were bringing good things to life for your children, where something came alive for them, or ignited a passion.

I'm late with my assignment this week because I've been wracking my brain trying to think of some outing we went on that ignited a passion. We've been on lots of outings. Most memorable includes paper making in Mae Sa Valley outside of Chiang Mai, Thailand, taking a kampong tour where we saw how rubber trees produce in Desaru, Malaysia, and touring a granite quarry in Vermont. And our children have many passions, among them writing, reading, Legos, building, archery, fishing, splashing in rivers, mothering (that would be one of Megan's), history, science, crafts, music, and China. But it's hard to connect any of these with a specific outing.

I guess I can see the genesis of one passion which wasn't in a homeschool specific context. Erik took Ethan with him to visit some friends one summer, where Ethan was exposed to fishing for the first time. It's something I never would have done myself because I'm not a fisherman and neither was my dad. But he was hooked, no pun intended.

He could do this all day.


Megan's not as big of a fan of fishing.


This is where we often find Megan with pen in hand, either copying something or composing her own stories.

It's fun to think though that one of these days who knows what experience will spark a life long passion in them. We'll see what happens.

BFS #108 - Quality is Job #1

Intro: Quality is Job #1 (Ford)

Assignment: My family and I rarely do anything apart from each other. We don’t really have quality time together because all our time is together. We feel like the more special moments are when we have dinner together or when we worship God together. For this assignment, tell how you and your family spend QUALITY time together.

I think there's a bit difference between time together and quality time together. I do spend most of my time with my kids, but I know I am not always focused on them. I may be trying to shoot out an email, or distracted by my task list while they are trying to get me to engage with them. I find that the times when I tell myself, "There is nothing else in the world right now that is important other than being with my kids" I feel a great sense of freedom and enjoyment of them. If only I would remember that all the time!

One of the ways we've been trying to pursue making our time together fun and memorable is doing family active games together (this also doubles as phy ed time!). A few weeks ago we had a rousing game of "Run For Your Life!" which is something like what we used to play as kids when we hid, ran for "base" and yelled, "Oly Oly Oxen Free!" Now that I think about it, why on earth did we yell that? Anyway, Run For Your Life was great but now that rainy season has hit, and daddy's had a heavy travel month, we've brought our game times back inside.

The most popular game of late has been balloon volleyball. We connect the backs of two chairs with a rope and hit the balloon back and forth - you probably could have figured that out on your own without my explanation. What's funny to me is that because we basically don't have rules regarding how many times you can hit it, or even having to keep it off the ground, it's really just a game of "keep the balloon in the air." But the kids aren't complaining so why quibble the small stuff? It's become an almost daily activity lately. I confess I leave most of the moving to the kids who are sweaty and worn out by the time they're done, although last night Ethan and I had a pretty heated game that resulted in my arms feeling a little sore.

It's fun to hit on an activity that is quick, easy, and everyone enjoys.

I realize this doesn't look like a family activity - where are mom and dad? Dad was on a business trip and I'm taking the picture. But usually we're all involved!

* BFS Assignment #107- When There’s No Tomorrow (Mercury) *

Assignment: We only have today. Should God take you today, have you accomplished everything that you wanted to, needed to. Have you said all the things that needed to be said? Let’s have no regrets, let’s make sure we get to those things, so that when we’re standing before the Lord, the only thing we need to do is to worship him.. and not regret not getting to that thing on our to do list. Stop - go take care of that thing…. then, come tell us what you choose to share. Don’t embarrass yourself or any of your loved ones

I'll be honest - when I think about standing in heaven, I have a hard time imagining that I will have any thoughts of this life at all. But if I do, I imagine it will only be not spending more of my energy on knowing Him and making Him known to others.

It's funny that this topic came up, because one night earlier this week, after I'd shut off the light, I scribbled this thought in the dark, "What will I regret doing or not doing in my life?" But the things I wrote down aren't things to be done in a day. They are habits of heart and mind, like, "Making the most of my relationships, especially with Erik and the kids" and, "Spending more time with God than I do on the internet."

This is a good reminder to me today as I am weary from another week of Erik being away, and I'm tempted to find a media babysitter for my kids and curl up in a ball til he gets back. But I know in the long run the time I spend with my kids is something I won't regret. That's why I took this picture of my daughter wearing my shoes - this is my "tomorrow" shot. Someday she'll fill these shoes and the things I do today will impact the woman who fills them.

Blogger Friend School Assignment #107 - Have It Your Way

Memory Verse: Isaiah 40: 1- Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God.

Intro: “Have It Your Way” (Burger King) - As cooler weather approaches and the winter eases into our doors I like to lounge by the fire after a hot shower. I love to make soups that are brimming with a rich and full flavor. In our home there’s nothing better than a hot bowl of soup or and a hot cup of coffee or cocoa on a cold winter night.

Assignment: Tell us all about how your have “your” relaxing time, more especially how during the cooler months you take time to curl up with your favorite movie, book, Bible study, and what your favorite warm drink would be.

My passport is ready for pick up. After 10 years my old one was filled with nearly 100 entry and exit stamps and visas, and two sets of additional pages because the old ones were filled. I'm incredibly thankful for all the opportunities we have had to travel, and to live in two fascinating countries outside our home culture.

Yet of all the places I've traveled, if I truly want to relax the best place anywhere is at my parent's house back in Rochester, MN. True, if I want to relax after a tough day a hot bath and a good book are a great thing, as is a cup of Russian Tea (I'll post the recipe below). But there's something about my parent's house that makes every care seem far away. Maybe it's because my parents are easy going people who open their home to others. Maybe it's because there are lots of cozy spots throughout the house, and always a book within reach (my parents gave me my love for books!). Maybe it's because their attention to my kids means I can relax knowing they're in good hands. All I know is that I feel the most comfortable there.

Alas, their house is 6,000 miles from mine. To my joy, in only about a month I will be relaxing there again while winter swirls around outside. We'll have fires in the fireplace and I'll play carols on the piano. We'll go outside and get chilly, and come back inside for hot cocoa. It'll be glorious.

But one thing all my travel has taught me is that even though I can experience great comfort here, it is not my home. C.S. Lewis said, "Our Father will refresh us with many pleasant inns on the journey, but he would not encourage us to mistake them for home." In heaven I will find my truest and deepest rest and comfort. So I guess I'm thankful that I retain this feeling of unrootedness that I've developed from living overseas.

Russian Tea

• 1/2 cup instant tea powder
• 2 cups orange-flavored drink mix (e.g. Tang)
• 3 ounces lemonade-flavor drink powder
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

Mix all ingredients together. Add 2-3T of the mix for each cup of hot water. I don't care much for tea, but I could drink this forever!

Blogger Friend School Assignment #106 - M'm M'm Good

Intro: M’m M’m Good (Campbell’s Soup)
The fall is such a wonderful time of year. The beautiful foliage and cool, crisp morning air is such a wonderful change from the hot summer. I also love the M’m M’m good smell of fall cooking and baking. The wonderful fall veggies, fruits and Thanksgiving foods.

Assignment: Post your favorite fall recipe/recipes to share. I love trying new recipes, do you? It can be baking, main dishes, veggies, dessert or anything else you can think of. There are no limits. Mmmmmm..I can’t wait to take a look at some of those recipes.

Fall . . . fall . . . nope, not ringing a bell. Wait, does it have something to do with changing your clocks? Or maybe something about leaves falling? Oh right, fall - that time of year when temperatures dip and the trees are ablaze with color. I used to love fall. I still do, but honestly I can't remember what it feels like. You see, I haven't experienced fall since 2003, before I moved to the land of perpetual summer. So while I would love to hunker down with a big bowl of soup, it's hard to want to do that when it's 90 degrees outside.

But this time next year, I will (barring any unforeseen circumstances) be enjoying some cooler temps again, and I'm looking forward to foods that warm my belly and put me to sleep. Back when I used to cook for this time of year (I did grow up in Minnesota, so I'm no stranger to it) my favorite thing to make was this:

Wild Rice Soup

2 can cream of potato soup

2 pints 1/2 and 1/2 (I cheated with low fat milk)

2 c. grated American cheese

5 slices bacon (can be omitted, but then it's just not as good!)

2-3 T. chopped onions

1 c. wild rice (uncooked)

Bake wild rice in 2 c. chicken broth for one hour. Brown bacon (crumble) and onion. Add all ingredients to rice and heat until cheese melts. Do not boil.

When we lived in China, I bought what I thought was wild rice at the store. I neglected to rinse it, and when I added the milk, I discovered the rice had a dark dye to it, so I had purple soup. I drained and rinsed the rice and tried again, but I still ended up serving slightly purple wild rice soup to all my friends that Christmas. Lesson learned: there is no substitute for Minnesota wild rice, especially not at a Chinese grocery store.

Sometimes, to remind me of fall, I put a pot of water on the stove, throw in cinnamon sticks and whole cloves, and let it simmer. I think I might go do that right now! All this talk of fall has made me nostalgic.

I'm excited to see all the recipes people post and store them up for the future!

Blogger Friend School Assignment #105 - Never Leave Home Without It

Assignment: In the memory verse Jesus tells us that He will never leave us, not even at the end of the world. He assures us in this verse that He will be with us and that means through everything we go through in life. I thought it would be interesting to write about the things we would never leave home without. For some it might be baby needs, others it might be a gym bag and bottle of water, and for some it might be your Bible and a notepad or small journal, maybe even your son or daughters favorite blankie! I’d like for you to write about something that you would never leave home without.

For all my organizational skills, this is one area of my life where I'd love to improve - I just can't seem to remember everything that's important to me when I walk out the door! It's probably because I'm impatient and always on the go. So rather than write what I DO take with me, I'm going to make a list of what I wish I DID have with me. Maybe it will inspire me to action:

1. My wallet (which must contain cash, my NETS card, an EZ link card and our library cards)
2. My cell phone
3. a small notebook
4. my pencil case with several pens/pencils, bandaids, lip balm, nail clippers, lotion
5. kleenex and/or wipes
6. sunscreen - I'm on the equator!
7. water and snacks for the kids and me

Wow - now that I think about it, I do carry most of those things with me. My problem is that I have traveled and shopped in too many markets where cheap purses are available, so I'm constantly changing from one bag to another depending on my outing. I would post a picture of my collection of bags, but my new computer doesn't like to read my photo cards so you'll just have to imagine it.

Blogger Friend School Assignment #104 - Wacky Week

Have you done something crazy in your homeschool? Do you fingerpaint with your toes? Do you let your children do your hair? Do you wear your pajamas during homeschool? Oh, the list is endless, but it’s up to you and how much fun you want to have.

I'm late in doing my assignment this week because I've spent most of the week sick. And if I'm too sick to write, then you know I'm sick! Armed with a fresh load of drugs from my allergist, today I'm able to look at a computer screen without covering it with spray. Rejoice in all things!

What do we do in school that is wacky? The pure fact that I'm homeschooling my kids feels a bit wacky to me. When I tell people that's what we do for school, I get that brief bewildered look and then the obligatory comment that implies I'm some sort of saint. Well, the Bible does say I'm a saint, but not because of anything I've done, and certainly not because of homeschooling.

But back to the wackiness. Since it's taken me awhile to get into homeschooling, we haven't ventured too far off the beaten path. On occasion we mix things up and write all our subjects on pieces of paper, then pull them out of a hat to see what order we'll study things. The kids enjoy that.

This year I think I've become more relaxed, so we've had days where I said it was ok to watch the Olympics for two hours during our normal school time (it's educational! and the coverage here was incredible). The wackiness for me (which probably seems quite normal to people who've been gung ho about homeschool from the beginning) is seeing all of life as teaching, and not being so wound up about seeing tangible, boxes I can check, kind of learning. That gives us the freedom to follow rabbit trails throughout the day.

Oh, and the best kind of wackiness - the freedom to call a "teacher mental health day."

Blogger Friend School Assignment #103

Assignment: How do you keep energized so you can get it all done? bouncy music? treat it like a workout? Do you use a schedule?, a housekeeping binder system? luck of the draw system?.. or is this an area where you need encouragement? Do you need God’s help to keep order and beauty in your dwelling place? Take this week to tell us how You diligently keep going with your housekeeping chores.

I thought it might come to this at some point, so here goes - my simple solution for keeping myself organized, on top of household chores and meals and everything else that goes into care for my home is this: I have a full time, live in maid.

Now before you hate me, let me explain. I live in Singapore. I've lived in Asia for nine years, and culturally it's commonplace. I had a part time maid for 4 years when we lived in China because it was so cheap it seemed criminal NOT to have one. Here, I held out for four years before my husband's heavy travel schedule and my severe allergy to dust mites (which are almost impossible to control in this humidity) drove us to hire a wonderful Filipino woman who manages my home with songs and prayers on her lips all day.

I am by nature quite energetic and organized, but even so my best system before can't compare to having someone take care of it all for me. I do have to say that having her has made me even more organized - I have to sit down once a week and plan out what we will eat for every meal (before I just did dinners) and I'm now able to finally tackle those around the house clutter projects (like reorganizing my recipes according to what we actually eat!)

Before we had our maid, we tried several different systems, usually settling back on doing a 4 day school week with one day for cleaning. I'd make a list of everything that needed to be done and the kids (who are box checkers) checked them off as we went. I do miss my kids participating in housekeeping (they don't). I need to think creatively about what chores they should still do. When my kids fought before, their consequence was always to do a job together. That doesn't work as well now - I find I have to invent chores for them. But this is hardly something to complain about!

Can we still be blogger school friends now that my secret's out?

Blogger Friend School Assignment #102 - Try It! You'll Like It!

Assignment: This week I want you to do something for someone else. Do you have a neighbor that needs you? Do you know an elderly person or single mom that could use you? What about the homeless? Pack even one single sack lunch and give it to someone in need. Do you know someone in blogland that is struggling right now and could use a note from you about how much you care? Pray about this. Let God put on your heart the perfect thing for you to do for another. Now, here is the kicker…I DO NOT want you to post about what you do. Whatever you choose to do is between you and God. Our rewards are in heaven, not here on earth, Mathew 6:1. I want you to post about how doing this “act” made you feel. Was stepping out of your comfort zone in this area as hard as you thought it might be? Could you see the gratefulness in their eyes? Hear it in their voice? Tell it from their typing? Do you think you might make doing things like this a more regular part of your time? If this is an area that you are already active in, tell us how you feel this has impacted your life.

When I was challenged to run a half marathon earlier in the summer, I had just started training for a 5K, and my first run was 1.5 miles. I told my friend, the challenger, that if 1.5 miles was hard for me, I couldn't possibly run 13 miles. Fast forward 12 weeks, and I did it. It just took that time to build up my muscles and stamina.

Stepping out of my comfort zone is like building a muscle to me. What used to make me uncomfortable is second nature now. So honestly, I had a hard time thinking of something to do that would be difficult for me. I prayed about it, and asked God to bring someone to mind. Instead, what he did was bring to mind situations I am already in that require more of me. As I engaged in them, I think this assignment made me more conscious of going the extra mile instead of settling back into my comfort zone. I realize that several things happen when I step out of my comfort zone:
1. I am able to bless people to a greater degree. Of course that blesses me in return - it's what we were made for right? So why wouldn't it be satisfying.
2. I discover what I am capable of. I never knew I could do half the things I do now, but I have found them through stepping out in faith.
3. I find God. Someone coined the term, "God room" which is the space between what you can do and where you want things to be. Only God can get you the rest of the way. It's in that space out of my comfort zone where I'm just kind of hanging that I need him to show up and be my strength.

In so many ways, homeschooling is out of my comfort zone, though as time passes, I am feeling more and more comfortable with it. God forbid though that I ever feel so comfortable I forgot my need for him.

BFS Assignment #101 - Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! Oh What a Relief It Is!

I have to admit that I think the title of this post is both fun and a bit creepy to me. Fun in that it is a creative way to introduce the topic, but creepy in that it reminds me of the commercials for Alka Seltzer when I was a kid. I was never quite sure what it was for, but it was obviously because you were in great discomfort and the Alka Seltzer itself wasn't going to be a pleasant drink.

Moving past my weird associations, this week I'm supposed to write about my worst struggles with a life style of homeschooling, and how God has given me the strength to get past it.

Have you ever walked through the woods and not known where you were? If you could see from above, you'd know exactly which way to go, but from inside the trees it's too hard to tell. I got lost in the woods once with some friends. We thought we heard voices, and decided to go toward the voices, though we had no idea whether or not those people knew where they were going either. We joked that we would someday, after weeks lost in the woods, nearly succumbing to starvation and wild animals, we would write a survival book called, "We Thought We Heard Voices."

Homeschooling has felt a bit like that for me. It's a journey of unknowns, far out of my comfort zone. Sometimes I feel very alone (especially when few of my friends homeschool). I get tired, weak, and wonder how I got where I am. I think my greatest struggles have been two-fold: First, realizing that I can't MAKE things happen for my kids. They may not want to learn. I may not know the right way to teach them. I can't force things in this journey. Secondly, I have struggled with staying in this place where most of my time is spent with my kids and it takes so much energy, patience, wisdom, and other things I do not always have in abundance. Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier just to send them to school and let someone else do the work.

But even though I feel a bit lost in the woods at times, I know that God can see the big picture, and He knows the path I should take. He can give me all the supplies I need for the journey. Since I started teaching my kids, a phrase that keeps coming to mind is from a Rich Mullins song, "I can't see how You're leading me, unless You've led me here to where I'm lost enough to let myself be led." I think the greatest blessing of homeschooling for me personally is being forced into this position of humility. Some of can't be led until we get so lost we know we can't depend on ourselves anymore.

I mentioned in my last post that after a few months of homeschool, I wilted in front of God and conceded defeat. That was my first step toward victory. From that point I began to ask God for wisdom and discernment in knowing what to do when my son refused to read, or my daughter wouldn't cooperate. I know that He knows my children far better than I do - what motivates them, how they learn best, what will develop that love for learning in them. I know that I may never see much further than a few steps on this path, but I can trust Him with what's around the bend.

Recently, I had a day when I was already feeling under the weather, and it seemed that the children were particularly wired for irritating each other. The thought that kept coming to my mind was, "Even this, Gina. Even in this I am sufficient. I have more than enough of what you need to get through this day." I kept wanting to argue with God that no, it was just too hard. But arguing with God is never an argument you'll win. I'm thankful for His gentle reminder that no matter how lost I feel, He's going to be with me. He won't let me succumb to the elements.

Just reflecting on this has been a good reminder to me that no matter what the struggles are - be it with my children's attitudes, or my own, God is sufficient. This is an invitation to more of Him, and for that I'm grateful.

Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.

Blogger Friend School Assignment #100

While perusing other homeschool blogs, I stumbled on this website with this purpose: "BFS is a full school year of fun-filled assignments to Build Friendships, Strengthen Faith, and Journal your Memories! Our goal is to encourage a community of homeschool moms to learn together while writing out special memories."

Well, it all sounds good to me, so here's my first crack at an assignment:

I may be the most reluctant homeschooler ever. Don't get me wrong - I love my kids more than life, and I'm all about investing in them. But I have other interests as well, and I always thought that when they got into school, I would be free again to pursue those interests. I knew though, that raising my children overseas with questionable schooling options meant I might someday, for some period of time, need to homeschool them.

The first time I gave it any serious thought was at a conference for our ministry where I found the book Things We Wished We'd Known. If you're not familiar, it's a book in which 50 veteran homeschoolers share their wisdom. At first glance, I thought, "I'm not one of these people. They have lots of kids, and they live on farms with goats and they seem ridiculously creative and committed to this." I was beginning to wonder what I was going to do with my then 3 year old son. Feelings of fear that I could quite possibly screw up his education by making the wrong choice were beginning to creep into my mind. Living in a country where children are sent to school at age 2 didn't help me feel like I was doing the right thing by keeping him at home and just spending time with him. But that book gave me assurance that at that age, the best thing was to spend quality time with him, and above all READ like mad to him. It also gave me hope that if God called me to it, homeschool might be a possibility.

When we moved to Singapore in 2004, our son was 4 1/2 and it was time, I thought to do something. Since several of the families around us were homeschooling, I thought, "It's kindergarten. How hard can it be?" Famous last words, those. So when he hit 5 1/2 I cracked open our new big box of homeschool supplies and began our journey.

At first I wondered whose children those were in the catalog pictures, with captions about how they love homeschool so much they want to do it all the time. That wasn't us. In fact, after about 3 months, I remember distinctly sitting in a chair in the corner of my room, saying to God, "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing." And He said quite clearly to me, "It's about time you admitted it. Now let Me help you."

So what began with reluctance has become a journey of dependence. We have good days when I can see that my kids are learning. We have bad days when we cry and get frustrated with each other, and I wonder how much that international school really does cost. We even have great days when my kids DO look like the kids in the catalogs (imagine that!).

We're in our fourth year now, and I have to say that for the first time, as I sat down to plan out our semester, I was excited! And not just about this year, but next year too. Four weeks in, and I am feeling like the steep learning curve of homeschool is starting to level out and I can relax and enjoy the process a little more.

Many times homeschool moms talk about their own poor schooling process as a motivator for teaching their own children. I can't say I had a bad experience, maybe because I was blessed enough to be in a school where children had more freedom to work at their own pace. I do remember being able to work ahead in math in 2nd grade. My teacher did this by letting me take the post test at the end of a chapter. If I scored 100%, I could skip the chapter. Guess what - it was multiple choice, and I guessed correctly. To this day, I am a little shaky on mean, median and mode.

Other than that unfortunate event, I have to admit that my education was good. But when I look at my kids now and think about my own education, the part of homeschooling I enjoy the most is the fact that my kids don't have to deal with all the negative social aspects of school. I wasn't scarred for life by that socialization, but it did little to build my self esteem. When I look at my little girl who is so easily swayed by her peers, I am thankful that I have this time to direct her heart and her friendships in a way that gives her a good foundation.

Fear and trembling, over-confidence, despair, joy, discouragement, excitement, peace, gratitude - I've felt the gamut of emotions through this process. I'm sure there's still more to come. What I know for sure is that right now in my life, this is God's assignment for me. I constantly go back to Psalm 16:5-6 which says, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Surely I have a delightful inheritance." God's assignments are always for our good, leading us into more life. And that alone is enough to make me perseverance.