What a homeschool mom thing to do

I just lost something that I've had for more than 20 years. It was a silver filling. It had to come out because it was in a tooth that has had a crack for 15 years, and the crack finally formed a cavity. My dentist deemed it necessary to take out the silver part as well to make sure he got the entire filling. My thoughts went like this:

Cool! I'll ask him if I can keep it, so I can take it home and show the kids. We can talk about how they used to make them that way, but they've made them better now. We can talk about how technology changes over time. I can use Megan's Playdough Monkey Dentist to make a tooth, and show them how he drilled out the old stuff and filled in the new stuff.

When he was done, the left side of my face was so numb I looked like a stroke victim, or like someone who's had too much Botox. That was the part that was most interesting to the kids when I got home, so much so that Ethan took a picture, which I would post but the batteries in the camera just went dead.

Is that a homeschool mom thing to do or what? Turn everything into a learning experience. I seriously thought about bringing them so they could watch, but I thought they'd either be bored or terrified. That's the fun thing about homeschool though. Learning isn't just about academics. It's about learning character, life skills, relational skills, how things work, why we do what we do, what the world is like. There are just some things that are learned better outside of the classroom.

An abundance of patience

When I tell people I homeschool, one of the most frequent comments I get in response is something like, "Oh wow - I could never homeschool. I'm just not that patient." I don't usually respond to this. If I do, I mutter something about God helping me. They are unconvinced.

But what makes me laugh about this comment is that it implies that I AM patient. Like I sat around thinking, "I am SO patient. In fact, I think I might have too much patience. Where can I find an outlet for this excess of tolerance? Ah yes, I will homeschool."

I know that really, people aren't thinking through this comment at all. They just want to distance themselves from the idea of it with what seems like a plausible excuse.

This has come to mind again this week because we picked up homeschooling again after a long than expected break (there was just too much travel in December!) and I am finding once again that my reserve of patience is nowhere near what I need for this task.

So should only the patient homeschool? Or should those who homeschool (or parent, or nurse, or drive, or cook, or live in any way) find what is needed in Christ?

"The Lord will guide you always. He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a stream whose rivers never fail." Isaiahd 58:11

* BFS Assignment #107- When There’s No Tomorrow (Mercury) *

Assignment: We only have today. Should God take you today, have you accomplished everything that you wanted to, needed to. Have you said all the things that needed to be said? Let’s have no regrets, let’s make sure we get to those things, so that when we’re standing before the Lord, the only thing we need to do is to worship him.. and not regret not getting to that thing on our to do list. Stop - go take care of that thing…. then, come tell us what you choose to share. Don’t embarrass yourself or any of your loved ones

I'll be honest - when I think about standing in heaven, I have a hard time imagining that I will have any thoughts of this life at all. But if I do, I imagine it will only be not spending more of my energy on knowing Him and making Him known to others.

It's funny that this topic came up, because one night earlier this week, after I'd shut off the light, I scribbled this thought in the dark, "What will I regret doing or not doing in my life?" But the things I wrote down aren't things to be done in a day. They are habits of heart and mind, like, "Making the most of my relationships, especially with Erik and the kids" and, "Spending more time with God than I do on the internet."

This is a good reminder to me today as I am weary from another week of Erik being away, and I'm tempted to find a media babysitter for my kids and curl up in a ball til he gets back. But I know in the long run the time I spend with my kids is something I won't regret. That's why I took this picture of my daughter wearing my shoes - this is my "tomorrow" shot. Someday she'll fill these shoes and the things I do today will impact the woman who fills them.

Blogger Friend School Assignment #107 - Have It Your Way

Memory Verse: Isaiah 40: 1- Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God.

Intro: “Have It Your Way” (Burger King) - As cooler weather approaches and the winter eases into our doors I like to lounge by the fire after a hot shower. I love to make soups that are brimming with a rich and full flavor. In our home there’s nothing better than a hot bowl of soup or and a hot cup of coffee or cocoa on a cold winter night.

Assignment: Tell us all about how your have “your” relaxing time, more especially how during the cooler months you take time to curl up with your favorite movie, book, Bible study, and what your favorite warm drink would be.

My passport is ready for pick up. After 10 years my old one was filled with nearly 100 entry and exit stamps and visas, and two sets of additional pages because the old ones were filled. I'm incredibly thankful for all the opportunities we have had to travel, and to live in two fascinating countries outside our home culture.

Yet of all the places I've traveled, if I truly want to relax the best place anywhere is at my parent's house back in Rochester, MN. True, if I want to relax after a tough day a hot bath and a good book are a great thing, as is a cup of Russian Tea (I'll post the recipe below). But there's something about my parent's house that makes every care seem far away. Maybe it's because my parents are easy going people who open their home to others. Maybe it's because there are lots of cozy spots throughout the house, and always a book within reach (my parents gave me my love for books!). Maybe it's because their attention to my kids means I can relax knowing they're in good hands. All I know is that I feel the most comfortable there.

Alas, their house is 6,000 miles from mine. To my joy, in only about a month I will be relaxing there again while winter swirls around outside. We'll have fires in the fireplace and I'll play carols on the piano. We'll go outside and get chilly, and come back inside for hot cocoa. It'll be glorious.

But one thing all my travel has taught me is that even though I can experience great comfort here, it is not my home. C.S. Lewis said, "Our Father will refresh us with many pleasant inns on the journey, but he would not encourage us to mistake them for home." In heaven I will find my truest and deepest rest and comfort. So I guess I'm thankful that I retain this feeling of unrootedness that I've developed from living overseas.

Russian Tea

• 1/2 cup instant tea powder
• 2 cups orange-flavored drink mix (e.g. Tang)
• 3 ounces lemonade-flavor drink powder
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

Mix all ingredients together. Add 2-3T of the mix for each cup of hot water. I don't care much for tea, but I could drink this forever!

What Price Will We Pay?

There are many reasons people use not to homeschool. Maybe one of them is the time commitment. It's true, I'm with my kids most of the day. We have a lot of time with other families, and I try to take time out when I need it, but for the most part my life is them. It's definitely a sacrifice, and I'll admit there have been many times when I wished I had my time back.

But lately several things have made me realize that there is no schooling option without cost. A new acquaintance of mine told me her son is enrolled in the local school system, where, "He hates it. The other kids pick on him for being foreign. He has no friends. He's an outsider." But her reaction is, "That's just how kids are."

Another friend has a daughter enrolled in an international school. She's thinking of pulling her out to homeschool her, because she's not enjoying it. She can't find anyone who shares her faith, so she's very lonely.

Other friends are disappointed that though their kids are in an international school, they aren't being challenged academically at all. They aren't able to work up to their ability.

Singaporean schools end early in the afternoon so that students can participate in "tuitions" which are extra classes, either to help students catch up or to get them ahead. My maid heard yelling a few days ago, and we realized that when we look out and down one floor, we can see a Singaporean woman doing math tuition for 4-5 students. She screams at them when they do wrong, and slaps the table with a stick. Sometimes she slaps them on the arm with the stick (yes, this is acceptable here).

When I look at these situations I think, "Is it worth it to me to put my kids in any of these situations so I can have my time back?" Of course not. Every schooling option costs something. I'm seeing more and more the benefit of teaching my kids at home, and what it "costs" me is completely worth it.

Blogger Friend School Assignment #102 - Try It! You'll Like It!

Assignment: This week I want you to do something for someone else. Do you have a neighbor that needs you? Do you know an elderly person or single mom that could use you? What about the homeless? Pack even one single sack lunch and give it to someone in need. Do you know someone in blogland that is struggling right now and could use a note from you about how much you care? Pray about this. Let God put on your heart the perfect thing for you to do for another. Now, here is the kicker…I DO NOT want you to post about what you do. Whatever you choose to do is between you and God. Our rewards are in heaven, not here on earth, Mathew 6:1. I want you to post about how doing this “act” made you feel. Was stepping out of your comfort zone in this area as hard as you thought it might be? Could you see the gratefulness in their eyes? Hear it in their voice? Tell it from their typing? Do you think you might make doing things like this a more regular part of your time? If this is an area that you are already active in, tell us how you feel this has impacted your life.

When I was challenged to run a half marathon earlier in the summer, I had just started training for a 5K, and my first run was 1.5 miles. I told my friend, the challenger, that if 1.5 miles was hard for me, I couldn't possibly run 13 miles. Fast forward 12 weeks, and I did it. It just took that time to build up my muscles and stamina.

Stepping out of my comfort zone is like building a muscle to me. What used to make me uncomfortable is second nature now. So honestly, I had a hard time thinking of something to do that would be difficult for me. I prayed about it, and asked God to bring someone to mind. Instead, what he did was bring to mind situations I am already in that require more of me. As I engaged in them, I think this assignment made me more conscious of going the extra mile instead of settling back into my comfort zone. I realize that several things happen when I step out of my comfort zone:
1. I am able to bless people to a greater degree. Of course that blesses me in return - it's what we were made for right? So why wouldn't it be satisfying.
2. I discover what I am capable of. I never knew I could do half the things I do now, but I have found them through stepping out in faith.
3. I find God. Someone coined the term, "God room" which is the space between what you can do and where you want things to be. Only God can get you the rest of the way. It's in that space out of my comfort zone where I'm just kind of hanging that I need him to show up and be my strength.

In so many ways, homeschooling is out of my comfort zone, though as time passes, I am feeling more and more comfortable with it. God forbid though that I ever feel so comfortable I forgot my need for him.

BFS Assignment #101 - Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! Oh What a Relief It Is!

I have to admit that I think the title of this post is both fun and a bit creepy to me. Fun in that it is a creative way to introduce the topic, but creepy in that it reminds me of the commercials for Alka Seltzer when I was a kid. I was never quite sure what it was for, but it was obviously because you were in great discomfort and the Alka Seltzer itself wasn't going to be a pleasant drink.

Moving past my weird associations, this week I'm supposed to write about my worst struggles with a life style of homeschooling, and how God has given me the strength to get past it.

Have you ever walked through the woods and not known where you were? If you could see from above, you'd know exactly which way to go, but from inside the trees it's too hard to tell. I got lost in the woods once with some friends. We thought we heard voices, and decided to go toward the voices, though we had no idea whether or not those people knew where they were going either. We joked that we would someday, after weeks lost in the woods, nearly succumbing to starvation and wild animals, we would write a survival book called, "We Thought We Heard Voices."

Homeschooling has felt a bit like that for me. It's a journey of unknowns, far out of my comfort zone. Sometimes I feel very alone (especially when few of my friends homeschool). I get tired, weak, and wonder how I got where I am. I think my greatest struggles have been two-fold: First, realizing that I can't MAKE things happen for my kids. They may not want to learn. I may not know the right way to teach them. I can't force things in this journey. Secondly, I have struggled with staying in this place where most of my time is spent with my kids and it takes so much energy, patience, wisdom, and other things I do not always have in abundance. Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier just to send them to school and let someone else do the work.

But even though I feel a bit lost in the woods at times, I know that God can see the big picture, and He knows the path I should take. He can give me all the supplies I need for the journey. Since I started teaching my kids, a phrase that keeps coming to mind is from a Rich Mullins song, "I can't see how You're leading me, unless You've led me here to where I'm lost enough to let myself be led." I think the greatest blessing of homeschooling for me personally is being forced into this position of humility. Some of can't be led until we get so lost we know we can't depend on ourselves anymore.

I mentioned in my last post that after a few months of homeschool, I wilted in front of God and conceded defeat. That was my first step toward victory. From that point I began to ask God for wisdom and discernment in knowing what to do when my son refused to read, or my daughter wouldn't cooperate. I know that He knows my children far better than I do - what motivates them, how they learn best, what will develop that love for learning in them. I know that I may never see much further than a few steps on this path, but I can trust Him with what's around the bend.

Recently, I had a day when I was already feeling under the weather, and it seemed that the children were particularly wired for irritating each other. The thought that kept coming to my mind was, "Even this, Gina. Even in this I am sufficient. I have more than enough of what you need to get through this day." I kept wanting to argue with God that no, it was just too hard. But arguing with God is never an argument you'll win. I'm thankful for His gentle reminder that no matter how lost I feel, He's going to be with me. He won't let me succumb to the elements.

Just reflecting on this has been a good reminder to me that no matter what the struggles are - be it with my children's attitudes, or my own, God is sufficient. This is an invitation to more of Him, and for that I'm grateful.

Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.

Blogger Friend School Assignment #100

While perusing other homeschool blogs, I stumbled on this website with this purpose: "BFS is a full school year of fun-filled assignments to Build Friendships, Strengthen Faith, and Journal your Memories! Our goal is to encourage a community of homeschool moms to learn together while writing out special memories."

Well, it all sounds good to me, so here's my first crack at an assignment:

I may be the most reluctant homeschooler ever. Don't get me wrong - I love my kids more than life, and I'm all about investing in them. But I have other interests as well, and I always thought that when they got into school, I would be free again to pursue those interests. I knew though, that raising my children overseas with questionable schooling options meant I might someday, for some period of time, need to homeschool them.

The first time I gave it any serious thought was at a conference for our ministry where I found the book Things We Wished We'd Known. If you're not familiar, it's a book in which 50 veteran homeschoolers share their wisdom. At first glance, I thought, "I'm not one of these people. They have lots of kids, and they live on farms with goats and they seem ridiculously creative and committed to this." I was beginning to wonder what I was going to do with my then 3 year old son. Feelings of fear that I could quite possibly screw up his education by making the wrong choice were beginning to creep into my mind. Living in a country where children are sent to school at age 2 didn't help me feel like I was doing the right thing by keeping him at home and just spending time with him. But that book gave me assurance that at that age, the best thing was to spend quality time with him, and above all READ like mad to him. It also gave me hope that if God called me to it, homeschool might be a possibility.

When we moved to Singapore in 2004, our son was 4 1/2 and it was time, I thought to do something. Since several of the families around us were homeschooling, I thought, "It's kindergarten. How hard can it be?" Famous last words, those. So when he hit 5 1/2 I cracked open our new big box of homeschool supplies and began our journey.

At first I wondered whose children those were in the catalog pictures, with captions about how they love homeschool so much they want to do it all the time. That wasn't us. In fact, after about 3 months, I remember distinctly sitting in a chair in the corner of my room, saying to God, "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing." And He said quite clearly to me, "It's about time you admitted it. Now let Me help you."

So what began with reluctance has become a journey of dependence. We have good days when I can see that my kids are learning. We have bad days when we cry and get frustrated with each other, and I wonder how much that international school really does cost. We even have great days when my kids DO look like the kids in the catalogs (imagine that!).

We're in our fourth year now, and I have to say that for the first time, as I sat down to plan out our semester, I was excited! And not just about this year, but next year too. Four weeks in, and I am feeling like the steep learning curve of homeschool is starting to level out and I can relax and enjoy the process a little more.

Many times homeschool moms talk about their own poor schooling process as a motivator for teaching their own children. I can't say I had a bad experience, maybe because I was blessed enough to be in a school where children had more freedom to work at their own pace. I do remember being able to work ahead in math in 2nd grade. My teacher did this by letting me take the post test at the end of a chapter. If I scored 100%, I could skip the chapter. Guess what - it was multiple choice, and I guessed correctly. To this day, I am a little shaky on mean, median and mode.

Other than that unfortunate event, I have to admit that my education was good. But when I look at my kids now and think about my own education, the part of homeschooling I enjoy the most is the fact that my kids don't have to deal with all the negative social aspects of school. I wasn't scarred for life by that socialization, but it did little to build my self esteem. When I look at my little girl who is so easily swayed by her peers, I am thankful that I have this time to direct her heart and her friendships in a way that gives her a good foundation.

Fear and trembling, over-confidence, despair, joy, discouragement, excitement, peace, gratitude - I've felt the gamut of emotions through this process. I'm sure there's still more to come. What I know for sure is that right now in my life, this is God's assignment for me. I constantly go back to Psalm 16:5-6 which says, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Surely I have a delightful inheritance." God's assignments are always for our good, leading us into more life. And that alone is enough to make me perseverance.

The Best Laid Plans . . .

I am a planner. In the past I've planned out my homeschool semester using my history book as a guide. I printed out my blank homeschool template for each week, filled in what we'd be doing for history, then left the other subjects to be decided week by week. This is a pretty good approach, since many of the other subjects are straight forward, like math. You just write down the next lesson.

But this semester I had some time (imagine that - this, even before my maid came!) so I decided to go all out and I planned every subject through December, even down to extra curricular activities like art, music, PE and life skills. I felt a great sense of relief, knowing that each Sunday night I just have to breeze over my schedule and see if I need to gather any supplies.

It looks great on paper, until your son decides that his math chapter is too easy and instead of taking a week to do it, he takes a day. Or when he loses the book he's reading, so we just jump ahead to the next one. Suddenly I'm checking things off in next week, and the week after. I could rewrite it, but I know it will keep happening, so I guess we just go with it and see how it comes out in the end.

Homeschool . . . it's a lot like running

If you read my other blog, you know that I've been slowing torturing myself for the past eight weeks by training for a half-marathon. I've already posted there about what I am learning from running, but here I want to write about how it has been leading me to reflect on homeschooling. In fact there are several parallels for me in both activities. Here they are:

1. Running and homeschooling both require perseverance. You have good days and bad days, but you don't give up.

2. It's good to vary your activity to strengthen different muscles and keep your body sharp when you run. In the same way, it's good to change things up once in awhile for homeschooling. We do this by adding activities like art, music, science, nature walks, computer. And by throwing in fun games here and there. And my personal favorite, calling a "Teacher Mental Health Day" and doing nothing.

3. When you say, "I can't" what you really mean is "I don't want to." I used to say this about running, but the truth is, I CAN run. It's taken time to build up my stamina, but I can say now that running five miles isn't a big deal.
The most frequent comment I get when I tell people I homeschool is, "You're so brave. I could never homeschool." And really what they mean is, "I don't want to homeschool." That's cool. But don't limit yourself with "I can't." If God calls you to something, you can do it.

4. People ask me if I'm enjoying running. My answer is, "Sometimes." It's true of homeschool too. Sometimes a whole mile passes without me realizing it because I'm just enjoying the time Sometimes I even feel something of a runner's high when I think I could run forever. And there are days when homeschool is great - the kids are happy and learning, and I get comments like, "This was really fun mom!" But there are also days in both activities when I want to drop to the ground and stay there. I keep going because I enjoy the benefits.

5. Snacks are helpful. That's pretty self-explanatory.

6. Rest is good and necessary. I know last year because we started later in the year, we didn't take enough breaks. I tried to plan more free time in this year so I don't stumble over the finish line come June like I did this year.

I've spent a good part of this morning planning homeschool for this fall. I decided to go crazy this time and plan out everything for the whole fall. In the past I just planned history to get my big picture, and planned other subjects week by week. But this year, maybe fueled by my running stamina, I am planning all my subjects through January. I know, it's now how a lot of people operate, but I think my Strengths Finders (communication, belief, strategic, focus, input) would back me on this. It's how I work best.